Someone tried to steal my cat litter at Target.

OK, check this out. My wife and I were just at Target shopping for some essentials. We picked up some Easter basket stuff (yeah yeah, I’m not religious, but who can resist Reese’s eggs and Starburst jelly beans?), some laundry detergent, some Scotch Guard, and some cat litter. The only box of Scoop Away on the shelf with 5 extra pounds of litter, I might add.

I must admit that I am quite liberal with leaving my shopping cart in different places while shoping, and maybe that is the reason for this incident. I hate trying to pilot my cart through narrow aisles, and the ensuing shopping cart demolition derby, so oftentimes I park my cart at the end of the aisle while I shop, and pilot it around the store as little as possible. Usually this works out fine, although if my cart is empty, as I used to leave it, it often gets stolen by some unscrupulous shopper. Therefore I always put at least one item in the cart as soon as I get in whatever store I am shopping in. But that’s completely besides the point.

So we’ve picked up out items, and are getting ready to head to check out and go home. We had just been browsing Easter candy, ad were discussing how excited we were about trying the Life Savers jelly beans when I noticed tha something was missing. Something BIG was missing. Our 33 pound cat litter box (33 pounds for the price of 28, I might add) was fucking missing!!

So my wife starts pushing the cart toward the pet section and I follow. We were disappointed that we were going to end up getting 28 pounds for the price of 28 pounds (like I said before, we grabbed the only 33 pound box on the shelf), but needed cat litter so gave into the lack of bargain.

The whole way back to the pet section, I mad-dogged every person piloting a shopping cart. I scrutinized every item in every cart, ready to break some cat litter stealing asshole’s head, but alas never found the perp.

When we arrived back at the cat litter section of Target, we were shocked and pleased to find our treasured 33 pound box of cat litter sitting on the shelf, waiting for us to come back and save it! “Oh happy day,” we cried! “The 5 pounds of free cat litter are ours once again!”

I honesylt have no idea what deranged individual thought it appropriate to remove the cat litter from our cart and put it back on the shelf (leaving all other items untouched), but I hope they are happy with themselves.