It’s War With Iran Week!

In an unconfirmed story originally broken by George Packer of The New Yorker, and commented on and clarified by Another Day in the Empire, Cheney’s minions have sent instructions to major media outlets to sell the war against Iran this week.

According to the report, the American Enterprise Institute is the brainchild behind this assault on the psyche of American citizens. It’s yet another fearmongering grab for money and control.

Let’s just think about this rationally by pondering some basic questions:

Q: Why would Iran ever attack the United States?

A: They wouldn’t. We have proven ourselves to be a violent country that will attack lesser countries without sufficient proof or provocation, and I have no doubt that Iran is pretty scared right now and has no interest in pissing us off.

Q: More importantly, how would Iran attack us?

A: Iran neither has the means, or technological prowess to attack the United States. First of all, they would have to travel across half the world, which would obviously be picked up by American surveillance. Second, to launch a successful attack, Iran would need to establish a nearby stronghold. Neither Canada nor Mexico would ever provide Iran with a safe haven from which to attack (for fear of being stricken down by America themselves), so there’s no way Iran could establish a nearby base of operations.

Q: Third, and most importantly, would it really be all that bad if Iran attacked the United States?

A: No, it really wouldn’t. If you bothered to read President Ahmadinejad’s letter to the American People of November 29, 2006, you would know that Iran has no intentions of harming American citizens. If anything, Iran wants to break the American People free of the tyranny of the Bush Administration, and sympathizes with their plight. The way I see it, if Pelosi isn’t going to push for impeachment, and the American People aren’t going to rise up themselves, then why not invite a third party in to break down our fucked up government?

Yeah yeah, I know this is radical thinking and all that. But seriously, does anyone truly believe that Iran is going to attack us? Not even Bush and Cheney thinks that Iran is a threat. Iran is just another excuse to shove their friends’ pockets full of cold, hard, worthless, American cash.